Husband.

Usually people post funny things their three-year-olds say, but I just wanted to share some funny things my twenty-three-year-old says...

Here in America we say, "You've Got Mail."

Jordan served his mission in Ireland and he says:

"Here, you received some post."

You know how when you are doing something else and trying to talk to someone at the same time your words get jumbled? Well, you can guess what Jordan was doing when he said this:

"I'm so proud of you, dot com."

After saying something sarcastic I called him a punk and he said:

"I'm not a punk. I'm a cheeky monkey."

After grabbing a couple extra grocery carts out of the parking lot and putting them away, Jordan got in the car and said:

"I think I make the world a better place by being in it."

Everyday when he comes through the door he yells:

"Bess Fren?? (Translation: Best Friend?)"

Sometimes when he gets off the couch to do something I make him run a bunch of errands for me while he's standing. This was his reaction the last time I did this:

"You make me feel like a clay pigeon. First you throw me in the air and then BAM! You shoot me while I'm up."

When reading the word "sauerkraut," he said:

"What is soccer-rot?"

These are the songs he sings to me when I am stressed:

"Relax, don't do it. Duh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh do it."

"It's alriiiiiight, It's okaaaaay, at least we're not gaaaaayy."

Just a gem statement:

"I have decided that clipping my toenails gives me good luck."

While waiting for his b-ball game to start, Jordan came up to me and said:

"You know what makes me happy?"

I waited for something sentimental.

"It makes me happy when you are touching a basketball."

I have a feeling he's going to get me back for this.