So I need some advice. I have been having a lot of anticipation anxiety and I don't really know how to deal with it. It doesn't help that I am writing a couple of my final research papers on the transition to parenthood and the stresses that come with it, but it is making me anxious that everything we are told to do to ease the transition we can't do. For example, a month before the baby is born we will be moving to a place I have never been or seen. We won't be able to buy a lot of the baby's stuff before we get there because we don't want to move it. I will have to hurry and find a new doctor and I won't have a relationship with him at all. We won't have a strong social support system because we will be so new and Jordan will be in the depths of his first semester of med school and won't really get any "paternity leave," as it were. We are told that the division of household labor should be fair (not necessarily equal), but that mom shouldn't carry the whole load. Did I mention dad will be in MEDICAL school? He will be carrying his own huge load. I know that my mom will be there for a little while and then hopefully Jordan's mom, and I know that I have the Relief Society, but I'm just nervous. I have been doing some stress-reducing meditation and breathing exercises which have been helping and I can continue doing, but I'm afraid of being lonely and sad. What's funny is I'm not nervous about the baby at all. I get babies, I know everything I could possibly know without being a parent myself. I know I won't be perfect at it, but I feel prepared. Point is, how would you handle these stressors?
To end on a happier note, I bought maternity jeans the other day and I am a different person. I didn't know how uncomfortable I was before those babies. I may never go back to zippers and buttons now that I have elastic in my life.
Oh, I feel for ya. Just hearing you talk about all that reminds me of the anxiety and depression that I had while pregnant with Chloe. I think much of it is that we were moving too. Don't worry about the doctor thing. I always had my own doctor, and then with Chloe I got the girl that was on call for the night and had never seen her in my life. No biggie. All they do is catch. And actually she didn't even do that... the nurse did and then yelled for her. Just a little hope. The minute I had her...depression, anxiety all gone! One day at a time. You are going to be great at all of it...you always do. Miss you!
ReplyDeleteYa I had a similar situation as Buffy. I was with the same doctor the whole time and then when it came time to deliver it was her day off. It was really the nurse practitioner that did everything and she was AMAZING. I think I liked her better than my OB. The on-call doctor literally came in to stitch me up and give me a thumbs up. Moral of the story: Even if you were with the same doctor the whole time, chances are, you won't have them there during delivery.
ReplyDeleteI have to admit, this would have been super scary for me too. Ever since you told me you were prego I have been feeling super anxious to be there when baby comes. We'll see how it goes. I'm sure Jordan could use a non-pregnant woman to help you guys get settled.
Aaaand....it will most likely be really stressful with the Daddy situation at first. I thought it would never get better with Jace. But once they get a little older, somehow daddy discovers his place...no matter how busy he is.
Carly, you were one of the first women I counted when thinking about the role models in my life. I just love you! I know you'll get through whatever lies ahead. You were made for this and you are going to touch so many lives! Especially that little life you're holding right now. AH! He/She is going to be BE-A-UTIFUL! and probably sing like an angel. I can't wait to meet them when we cross paths again one of these days!
ReplyDeleteHaving a baby with no support can be difficult and I really feel for you. You are such an amazing person I know you'll have a dozen close friends as soon as you move and everyone wants to help when a new baby is involved! Wish I could help you miss.
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