I am willing to admit that I am too sensitive about Scarlett's sleep troubles. When people talk about how well their babies sleep, I kind of want to reach across the room and rip their lips off. That's my problem, not theirs. I really am happy for them, I'm just jealous. I'm also worried that they think I made my baby this way, or that I haven't tried hard enough. I know in my mind that it doesn't matter what they assume, and I know that I have done everything short of drugging her to get her to sleep better. It is very validating and relieving to hear others who have my exact same story, but it doesn't sweep away the dirty feelings I have toward those who don't get it. I have a theory. Babies are born on a sleep spectrum and they can only be improved by about five gradients. For example, Scarlett was born a 2, and after months and months of sleep training and tears (from both of us), she is now a 7. Some parents have babies who are born a 5 and they train them to be a 10 and then they look at my 7 and say stuff like, "Well, my baby sleeps well because I taught her how to sleep," and that is when their lips are in danger. I believe all trials are supposed to teach us something, to make us better. I know there is a lesson of humility and patience in here somewhere. It's interesting that the lesson has little to do with Scarlett or parenting anymore; it is rooted in being a good friend and person. I need to be more cheerful and less resentful. I need to be more careful with people because I don't know how hard they are trying or what troubles consume them. I need to care less what others think of me, and more how I think of others. And while I work on that, Scarlett will keep helping me see people from a new perspective.
Phew! Lips are still intact ;) I hope it never seemed like I was rubbing it in your face or something. I know you're doing your best AND even after all our efforts, our kids just come a certain way and we can't do much about that. At least for you, it can only get better from here...me? I fear baby number 3...terrified.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness. I want to bite those legs. Also, I have mega respect for you and everything you've been through with those sleep troubles.
ReplyDeleteShe just chillaxing like that?
ReplyDeleteOhhhh the woaaaahhhs of the marinos baby's and sleep. I think it is definitely genetic. And I feel for ya when it comes to other people's lovely comments on their children who's kids go to sleep at 7 at night and wake up at 9 the next morning. And honestly I don't think I got over it until Baylee or Chloe. Cause I was still reading the books with Maddie. Are you still nursing? Mine never slept completey through the night until they were weaned. ALL OF THEM! And sorry if this makes you anxious, but Chloe still climbs into bed with me most nights... She only makes it completely through the night in her own bed about a quarter of the time. Sometimes I go put her back, but she is still getting me up. I think that actually has more to do with my last child laziness and not wanting my baby to grow up tho.
ReplyDeleteI hope I never came off as rude! And I hope you work everything out. I only told you what worked for me because I hoped there was something that we did that might help you! But I do believe babies are born with different sleep patterns! I struggled and struggled with Evie and Jonah is on the other spectrum of things. Just keep praying for patients because it seems when I am tired I need loads more of it!
ReplyDeleteBabies that don't sleep are SMARTER! Their minds are always going - so don't worry too much. It'll pay off in the future - sometimes literally!
ReplyDeleteOh she is just the cutest! You're so lucky to get up with that little face in the middle of the night :)
ReplyDeleteI like your idea of the spectrum! I've done the same thing with all 4 of mine- some have been a 2 and others a 10. They are what they are, and they eventually all figure out how to sleep! Love you!