Choosing Happy Thoughts

It's no secret that I used to grapple with social media and the internet. It used to really burden me, and I am happy to say "used to." Being a new (and practically single) mom and living in an unfamiliar place was lonely. I was so hungry for connection that I tried finding it through blogs and social media and in my pursuit I was left deflated, estranged, and starving. I knew a lot of people who felt the same way--tired of the comparison and unintentional deceit behind others' seemingly perfect lives. It takes a toll on us sensitive people. But I forget that not everyone is as impressionable and affected by these sorts of things as I am. I kind of wish I didn't have to learn that lesson in front of everyone, but still, I am grateful for that experience because it changed how I write and how I put myself out there. I don't want anyone to feel inadequate or "less than" because of me. I don't want to be known as someone with loud opinions, but as someone who quietly ministers and takes care of people. 

I do think a lot of people are looking for the same validation I was, even if they don't know it. For example, it used to bug me when friends would post pictures or describe the insanely healthy meals they made for their families every night. Sadly, my immediate instinct was to think "So you want to show everyone how awesome and healthy you are? I GET IT. You don't eat pizza at least once a week like us." But one time I decided to think, "What does this girl really want? Why did she post this? Is she trying to make me feel less than? I don't think so, she isn't trying to be malicious or boastful, she just wants validated and told that she's done a good thing." So instead of huffing and puffing, now I give her what she wants--a pat on the back, a "well done", a "you're such a good mom"--and the best part is, we both feel good. I get to be happy for her instead of intimidated and irritated and she gets to be "liked." I still wish things could be different, more simple, less loud, but if this is the new way to spread joy, so be it.

 UPDATE: I remembered this later and thought it applied. I learned in a class at BYU that when people communicate, oftentimes our intent doesn't match the impact it has on others, and I think that happens a lot over the internet. People put something out there with one intention, but the impact it has is something entirely different. If we all tried to be more careful and consider the possible impact, there would be fewer hurt feelings. Likewise, people need to take responsibility for their own hurt feelings and look for the real and often harmless intent instead of letting everything offend and impact them. The point is, be careful with each other, whether you are on the sending or receiving end.  

PRIDE UPDATE:
I just wanted to clarify that I wasn't saying we should only post personal things or things we struggle with or things that are painfully real. Some things don't need to be said and some people don't need to express themselves in that way. What I was talking about was how we react to the perfect posts. That's what I needed to change. It's the whole intent/impact thing I mentioned. I'm finally in a place where I am not bothered by it because I've chosen to to see the true intent and be happy instead of covet, does that make sense? I just wanted to make sure it was clear that I don't think people need to throw in the crappy stuff to make me feel better and my pride wanted to make sure I wasn't misperceived. =)