There is nothing that zings my heart more than hearing exactly what I need to hear the moment I need to hear it. It's like God is blowing me a kiss, reminding me that even my needs are important to Him. But sometimes I don't like hearing what I need to hear because then it means I have to change something. That happened a lot today. I really needed to be reminded about good and important things I should do, but I've been using "I'm too tired" as an excuse for awhile now and it has been working out quite nicely.
The good news is, I feel less guilty about it than I normally would. I don't know why I feel so guilty all the time--it's just in my nature, I guess. Usually, when I realize I need to change something about myself or my lifestyle, I feel ashamed that I have been doing it wrong for so long and then my heart starts racing and I start sweating and I feel like I need to make the change this instant and never do it wrong again or else the sky will surely fall and it will be MY fault and I'll feel guilty for ruining everyone's day. I still feel an urgency to better myself, but it's a little less fight or flight now. I truly believe the initial guilt I feel is a biological reaction, over which I have no control, but I do have control over how I react. I don't have to make these changes right now and I don't have to do them all at once. I don't even have to decide when I'm going to start the change. I can give myself some breathing room, some time to mull it over. I can give myself a chance to decide which changes are necessary and which ones can wait. I don't have to start right now or even on Monday, because heaven knows you HAVE to start new goals on Mondays, otherwise everything feels off-kilter. I think having a baby has really mellowed me out. I can't move at super-sonic speed anymore. I have to move at her pace and get home in time for naps. Speaking of the munchkin...
She's five months old. She wasn't feeling particularly smiley in these pictures. She must be working on her serious model face.
Look! A picture of the Mama. First one in awhile. Whenever something is happening that is picture-worthy, I'm always in my underwear. I don't know how that happens. I finally got dressed long enough to take this one.
She loves distracting studying with her daddy and sucking on his highlighters.
Agreed, agreed, agreed, agreed, but you forgot - YOU are beautiful. Agreed?
ReplyDeleteyou are a friggen babe! u look so good :) god really is good!
ReplyDeleteCarly! Your little Scarlett is a doll, that's so fun that our babies are a week apart. I'm so glad you found me, it has been a really long time. You are just so beautiful.
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